brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
