i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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