I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
