Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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