I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
