just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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