When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
