Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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