i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
