So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize