Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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