was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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