Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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