If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
