just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
