Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
