oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
