woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
