I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You were trust falling into bushes
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
