hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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