i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
