if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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