I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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