someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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