I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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