When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
