Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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