i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
