you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
