i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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