fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize