I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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