I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
