so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
