why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
