I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
