When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
