How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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