someone owes me an orgasm
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
