Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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