oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
