i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
accomplished twins. life is a go
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
