and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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