Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
