Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize