I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
