I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
