The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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