I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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