I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
