I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
