Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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