WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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