real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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