Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
