My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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