just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
